What Would Brian Boitano Do?

What Would Brian Boitano Do?

"What Would Brian Boitano Do?" is a song from South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.

Lyrics

Stan:

What would Brian Boitano do 
If he was here right now, 
He'd make a plan 
And he'd follow through, 
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

Kyle:

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics, 
Skating for the gold, 
He did two salchows and a triple lutz 
While wearing a blind fold.

Cartman:

When Brian Boitano was in the alps, 
Fighting grizzly bears, 
He used his magical fire breath, 
And saved the maidens fair.

Stan and Kyle:

So what would Brian Boitano do 
If he were here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, 
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

Cartman:

I want this V-Chip out of me, 
It has stunted my vocabulary.

Kyle: 

And I just want my mom 
To stop fighting everyone

Stan:

For Wendy I'll be an activist too, 
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do.

All:

And what would Brian Boitano do?
He'd call all the kids in town, 
And tell them to unite for truth
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

Brian Dennehy:

Someone say my name?

Stan:

Who are you?

Dennehy:

I'm Brian Dennehy!

Kyle:

What? No, Not f--kin' Brian Dennehy!

Stan:

Yeah, get the f--k outta here!

Dennehy:

Oh. Bye!

Stan and Kyle:

When Brian Boitano traveled through time 
To the year 3010, 
He fought the evil robot king
and saved the human race again

Cartman:

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids, 
He beat up Kublai Khan!

Stan and Kyle:

'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take s--t...

All:

...from anybody!
So let's all get together, 
And unite to stop our moms 
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too, 
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too, 
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! 
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!