Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart?

"Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?" is an Emmy-nominated song sung by Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Homer Simpson from the episode "Homer and Apu".

Lyrics

 * Apu:


 * You see...
 * Whether igloo, hut, or lean-to,
 * Or a geodesic dome,
 * There's no structure I have been to
 * Which I'd rather call my home.


 * Abe:
 * Hello.


 * Apu takes Abe's cane and Abe falls to the ground.


 * Apu
 * When I first arrived, you were all such jerks
 * But now I've come to loooooooove your quirks.


 * Maggie, with her eyes so bright,
 * Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright,
 * Lisa can philosophize,
 * Bart's adept at spinning lies.
 * Homer's a delightful fella.
 * Sorry 'bout the salmonella.


 * Homer:


 * Heh-heh. That's okay.


 * Apu:


 * (taking Abe's chair and climbing on top of it)
 * Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
 * Now here's the tricky part,
 * Oh, won't you rhyme with me?
 * Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?


 * Marge:


 * Their floors are sticky-mart!


 * Lisa:


 * They made Dad sick-e-mart!


 * Bart:


 * (holding a brick) Let's hurl a brick-e-mart!


 * Homer:


 * The Kwik-E-Mart is real—
 * D'oh!


 * All:


 * Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?


 * Apu:


 * Not meeeeeeeeeee!


 * The Simpsons (simultaneously):
 * Forget the Kwik-E-Mart!
 * Good-bye to Kwik-E-Mart!
 * Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?


 * Apu:


 * Not me!


 * Apu takes off the chair and leaves the room; Abe leaves the room too while the Simpsons sit on the couch.


 * Homer:
 * (speaking) Everything really wrapped up nicely. Much quicker than unusual.


 * Marge:
 * (speaking) I guess we've learned that happiness is wherever you find it.


 * Homer:
 * (speaking) And we've all found happiness. Everyone of one. (turns on TV)


 * The family hears Apu sobbing.


 * Homer:
 * (speaking) Hey. What's that sound?


 * The family sees Apu crying on the roof.


 * Apu (sadly):


 * Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
 * I dooo!


 * Homer:
 * Hey, he's not happy at all. He lied to us through song! I hate when people do that!